Children Who Run Their Households


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Gerry Thomasen, Flickr

April 21, 2017

Who’s in charge here?

Are we again in a time when “everyone does what is right in his own eyes“? Are children growing up with no idea what personal responsibility means, or even that it exists? It seems so.

Though the following words were written millennia ago, their wisdom is stellar in their contemporaneity. Wisdom does not easily die. Even as I write that sentence, I realize we live in a time where wisdom is smoked over by an onslaught of social experimentation and vain philosophies.

A rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a youth left to himself
is a disgrace to his mother.   Proverbs 29:15

A slave pampered from his youth
will become arrogant later on.   Proverbs 29:21

Anyone pampered in youth will likely become arrogant. Pampering creates fantasy expectations and withers character. Widespread damage and loss in our society exist because of the sort of “parenting” wherein the one being brought up is given command of the household. Though not necessarily intentional, it is real. From teachers living in the realm of reality you may hear plenty of stories of brutish, self-focused five-year-olds who think they created the world.

We are raising too many self-focused, non-empathetic, spoiled little 29-year-old brats. Yet we survey the chaos and presume we are enlightened. Afraid to use an utterly simple word – “no” – we engage in the theatrics of children running the negotiations. Many times have I said that if a parent and child are in negotiation, the child is in charge.

This is backwards.

How many cases you have seen where children have established themselves as the authority in their households?

  • They make demands.
  • They manipulate.
  • They consistently negotiate consequences and propose scenarios.
  • They expect everything.
  • They are thankful for little.

When children are given the upper hand in daily household life, their future is clouded. That fact means the future of society is clouded.

Why? Because they have not been given an understanding of real life. They become “entitled”. They become full of themselves. As a result, disappointment is coming, and their responses are likely to be infantile. The “loving” practice of indulging every possible whim of a child leads to pain and loss. This kind of parenting is not exactly an expression of love. It helps explain thirty-somethings’ (and even older) infantile responses to life challenges.

There are no illegitimate children, but illegitimate parents populate the land.

(Let us not speak of illegitimate educators.)

Ideas have consequences.

Your response is welcome. Am I overstating this?

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